Why Bother Trying?

When I was about sixteen I lived in a small English seaside town. The average age of the populace was well into the sixties and there was fuck-all to do that any self-respecting sixteen year-old would consider doing. A lot of kids in the area seemed to be connected with the local Free Church. It was one of those family-oriented happy-clappy places with family-friendly events, and everything watered down in a "right-on" socially acceptable way. My friend Sven went to this church and I remember him telling me about the "sports day" they had organized on the seafront some years previously. There was a running race which Sven had entered, and won. At the end of the race the simpering do-gooder in charge had quoted the biblical phrase "the last shall be first and the first shall be last" before giving the prize to the kid who had come in last.

Nice life lesson there. That's what happens when you let the liberal weenies run things - success becomes denigrated, and your prizes are "redistributed" to those who didn't run fast enough.

I was reminded of this when reading a WSJ article about how so many vacant homes are now being given over to Section 8 housing in the US.

Section 8 refers to the Housing and Community Development Act of 1974, and is intended to limit the percentage of income that "poor" people have to pay for housing. Under this program tenants pay about 30 percent of their income for rent, while the balance is paid with federal money. (And by "federal money" we mean taxes - that's where federal money comes from, after all.)

The WSJ article referred to a woman (let's not stereotype, but she's a single parent black woman called Shawnetta who works in a pawn shop) who moved to a nice home in Las Vegas, where "about half her $1,400 rent" is paid for by taxpayers. The article says a government program pays for it, but that's one of the tricks of language that you have to watch - it sounds so much more direct if you say "paid for by taxpayers" or even "paid for by you and me" but we wouldn't want to let the cat out of the bag, would we?

So at around $700 a month we're paying $8-9,000 a year in free money to this woman so she can live in a better house than the (presumably) $700 a month rent she could afford herself would get her. The picture in the paper shows this grinning parasite in a home that I could not have hoped to afford when I left college, but which is now apparently a "right" for anyone, no matter what stupid, feckless decisions they (or the father or fathers of their children) might have made along the way.

Let's leave aside for a moment the social costs of dispersing the human detritus from the crime and social depredation pits that blacks have created for themselves in many inner cities. What do you think happens when all these Section 8 families move in next door? They're all "fleeing the drug-infested neighborhoods" but guess what - the problems weren't with the addresses but with the people who inhabited them. The crappy people just infect new places.

No, what's really galling is that there's no incentive for you (or your fatherless kids) to work hard in school, get a better job, work overtime or study part time to get another qualification in order to get a better home. Why bother? Big government, in its infinite wisdom, fueled by a plethora of "rights" that have been teased from the penumbra of the US Constitution by a succession of liberal judiciaries, has determined that you have a "right" to live in a nice house now. Not just a roof over your head, but a nice suburban home, away from the social problems that you and your neighbors created. And the rest of us are going to dig into our pockets to pay for it, because we wouldn't want you to be in any way unhappy now, would we?

Nearly half the eligible population in the US pay no federal taxes whatsoever, and you have to believe that a significant additional number pay very little. For people who make good money, the fact that they are having money deducted from their paycheck every month so that Shawnetta can have a better home is ridiculously unfair. But what about the people who now live next door to her and her kind? They aren't likely to be wealthy. They worked hard to save money so that they could buy a nice home where they could raise a family. They did whatever it took to make the house payment every month, and that meant doing it year after year. And now some bitch who didn't do anything of the sort is being "gifted" the same lifestyle. By you. So when you're working overtime so you have a few extra dollars, just remember that Shawnetta only makes $10.50 an hour but she can live in the same house as you, no worries.

When you set the bar for entitlements so high it becomes difficult for many to justify working for what others get for nothing. Yeah, the last shall be first and the first shall be last. After that Sven didn't bother racing again...

Joining a Gym

Now that my carcass is pretty much relocated to Chicago it's time to join a new gym. This seems like it would be easy - just find something between work and home, closer to home (for weekend workouts), with decent equipment and a monthly fee that won't bankrupt me.

I tried out the local Ballys, which was characterized by sweaty lowlife who don't wipe down the equipment or replace the plates on the weight machines. At least it was convenient and cheap(ish), though, so I considered joining. Mrs Bison suggested I look online for a deal. "They always have deals online" she opined, with the sure and certain insight of someone who has never actually joined a gym.

So I looked online and found the $19.99 a month*, $0 enrollment fee* offer. Did you spot the * sign? That means "restrictions apply". If you click on the restrictions you will find the following text:

Offer Restrictions
One Club Easy Monthly Payment Plan Membership: No Enrollment Fee. First monthly payment of $19.99 to $29.99 (rate varies based on location selected), plus $29 card fee due at time of joining, then $19.99 to $29.99 per month as long as you remain a member. Monthly payments are subject to increase as stated in your Membership Agreement. A prorated usage fee through first scheduled payment date may be added. An annual fee of $19 or $29 may be charged to your provided account in December of each year. Annual fee varies by market. Recurring Credit Card (RCC) transactions only. Sales Tax not included (where applicable.)

I think I may have commented before that gym chains are usually cheating scum who want nothing more than to separate you from your hard-earned with visions of six-pack abs and spotless facilities, so this information hardly comes as a surprise.

First point - you can only pay by Recurring Credit Card transaction. Good luck cancelling that if you want to leave. Think you can contact the card provider? Think again - you signed an agreement with the gym, and they can keep debiting your card until you cancel with THEM. LA Fitness seems to have a particular penchant for "losing" cancellations that haven't been sent via certified mail, if you look at their reputation on the web.

Note that there's a $29 card fee at time of joining. So there's $0 of enrollment fee, but you have to pay a $29 card fee, and you can only pay by card. If that's not an "enrollment fee" what the fuck is it? Calling it a card fee is simply hiding the charge. Note also that you can be charged the fee every year in December if they feel like it. And that your fees may increase when they feel like it, according to an agreement which is referenced but not included in the small print. You should ALWAYS read the small print in agreement because therein lies the truth about how you'll get fucked later, and you may as well be prepared.

To be fair to Ballys (though I'm not sure why, since they can't be bothered to make slimy people carry a towel in their gym) their people did not have the "what can I do to get you in this car today" approach that the wankers at LA Fitness had, but my reaction when I see businesses try and hide charges and "cheat" in a small way is to assume that they would, by extension, be quite happy to cheat you in a big way later, and that hardly makes you want to give them your credit card now, does it?

Still, for anyone naive enough to believe what gyms tell you BEFORE you join, why not check out the satisfied customers with LA Fitness Problems as highlighted by ConsumerAffairs.com. You might end up with six-pack abs, but your wallet will look like a steroid boy's wedding tackle.